Gwenn's guaridan angel story of an angelic encounter...
In this modern world, we always come to depend on scientific evidences to support our theories about the world and the mysteries that still confound us. But it is remarkable that many people still believe in God today when God seems unavailable to us. We have dreams, visions, inexplicable happenings that form a personal foundation for our faith in the Unseen. God reaches us out across the barren divide through these unexplainable things like apparitions of Mary, encounters with Christ, and manifestations of angels.
I was just an average girl who used to be the laughing stock of the society. I wear black clothes with black accessories. It’s not only my style, but it represents me and my dark life. I used to put heavy eyeliner on to hide my eye bugs caused by crying the night before. I could not even talk for the whole semester, and my classmates don’t even know my name. Even worse, my teachers don’t even know I am their student. What a crap.
I am a loner and often times called “the weird witch” of the school. I prefer to be alone and sit there at the back of the room, leaning on my friend wall rather than talking with a bunch of fake friends. I have no friends. What are friends? All that is familiar to me were enemies, enemies I don’t even know why we became enemies.
It’s not like this when I am in grade school. I even got the highest attainable grade, became valedictorian of our school and was even accelerated. But then, everything became boring since I stepped into the high school level. I wake up, eat, and go to school, go home, eat, and cry to sleep. This is my simple daily routine.
It all started to happen when our business in Resort fell apart and my parents lost it.
Months passed; we already felt the hardships in life. Being born with a silver spoon in our mouths, it was very hard on our part to blend with the kind of environment that we are facing now. We lost our nannies. We were forced to do household chores. Our allowances decreased as time went by. We don’t eat foods that we used to eat, with sometimes eating only rice and salt. “Love jumps out the window, when the stomach is empty,” my Mom always tells my Dad.
They always disputed until they decided to go their separate ways. Mom went abroad to work, while Dad worked here and stayed with us. It hurts us to see our perfect family portrait crushed and broken into pieces. My sister and brother went to the province to study in public school, staying with our relatives. They often say that it is so hard to live there because of the the way they are treated. It was really not that good, but they have to be there in order to continue their studies. I enrolled my scholarship here in a public school and stayed with my Dad to take care of him. He is sick. We hadn’t heard anything about my Mom, and we didn’t have any communications with her. One day, we received bad news that my Mom was working in a mental hospital in Saudi Arabia with no pay. Her passport was never given to her by her employer because of a fake employment agency. She was there for almost a year!
When all of these problems came to me so suddenly, it almost made me kill myself. And here comes the worst thing of my life: I started to question and hate God.
I lost contact of the reality and took God out of my life! But then I started experiencing seeing things that were unexplainable by my thoughts. I became scared of my surroundings. I feel so different when I am alone. It’s like I am surrounded by evil spirits. It’s like I could feel them! Sometimes, I could perceive unusual sounds, like voices, coming from underground, or someone crying in a room when there’s no one actually in there. I started having goose bumps and seeing shadows and figures of light with some being human-like in form and others with unexplainable shapes. I started hearing voices in my head, and when I speak with them, they answered back -- but it’s not me at all! I like staying in the cemetery before I go home after class or staying alone inside our classroom, making drawings of angels and tombs and gothic arts. No one likes to be close to me or even talk to me because they say that I talk about weird stuff and that I am totally weird! I became so strange that no one could understand me. I couldn’t understand myself either!
April 11, 2006, I tried committing suicide. The only solution to my problems that I knew was to die, but when I was about to do it, I heard a voice. It was an unusual tone of voice different from those creepy voices that I usually hear inside my head. It was the voice of a guy. He said he is also alone in the dark, and he wants me to be his friend. His voice was really sad, and I could feel his thoughts. It’s like we were one. I could see him at the back of my mind. He was wearing white cloth touching the ground and sitting on a rock with a dark background. He was white, all white. His face was innocent. There’s no way to describe the way I feel for him. He said, “Turn to God and everything will be OK.” I answered back, “All I want is to have company, a friend who will never forsake me, one who understands my feelings and who will fight for me against all odds.” He said with a low-tone voice, “Then, I will be here even until forever. I will never leave you. I will love you forever.” It’s like I felt an assurance coming from his sweet words. And that day on, we became friends regardless of what he is or who he is. All I know was I had a friend!
From that time on, I always talked to him, and he answered back in my mind. We even laughed at each other, and he made me feel that I have him. He never forced me to bring back my faith in God in order to be a good human being; he simply follows and respects my ideas and thoughts. Whenever I do something wrong, I could see him upset but never say a word about his feelings towards it. I just felt that if I have done something wrong and apologized, he would simply smile and hug me. It’s like he was my conscience speaking. Having him around had made a big difference in my life. I had a clearer view of my world. I became inspired. I was doing well in school. It was like I could hear him encouraging me when I had to review and telling me the answers when I simply forgot them. Sometimes he could tell what would happen ahead of time and reminded me not to do or when to do things. He taught me to do good things and to think only good things. He’s there to comfort me when I cry. He is the reason why I don’t fear walking on a dark street alone. I don’t even fear my enemies and evil spirits around me. He always has my back. Then little by little, I started thanking God for giving him to me. I even went to church because of him, until my faith in God came back. He said that God sent him because I asked for a friend.
I asked him if he could help my family and he said, “Pray and leave it all to me.” He smiled and everything became more clear. One day, he told me to listen to the music sung by Fanatasia, “I believe.” It was a good song I said, then suddenly, the phone rang! It was my mom! She told me she was coming home that night! I cried. I thanked God and jumped out of joy! And so that night my mom arrived, we fetched her. My mom was sent home to our country with the assistance of different agencies that aim to help the OFWs and also with the assistance of politicians in our country - the Philippines.
Recently, my sister and brother also arrived home. My family was complete again! We were so happy. We went to church as we always did when we were together. My siblings transferred here to our place again, and we were together already. We were so happy. Mom also won the case against the fake employment agency and was paid her whole year salary.
It was then that I saw him (my angel) smiling. Upon seeing me happy, I thought I heard him say goodbye. I said, “No!” But he said, “Call me when you need me. I told you I am here, and I will always be here.” He then smiled back at me. I saw him disappear before my very own eyes, but I knew in my heart that he’s just there, not only as my friend but as my guardian angel.